Wish I could take credit for this but stapletonj posted it on the Vine. The Chickeneers were engaged their normal "you backed out" whine of the week and this was his response:
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Actually the whole thing kinda reminds me of bad high school romance stories with law school thrown in.
Ugly duckling Marsha Marshall, poor, gawky, and gangly her freshman and sophmore years in high school, pines for handsome and rich Mike Mountaineer, star QB or the football team and son of the local strip mine operator before the days of the EPA.
Mike spurns her for years and goes on to college, where he is a football star and gets a bachelors degree in sociology. He gets a job at the local car dealer after school (the mines have closed down and Daddy's money is gone). He is struggling to make $30K per year. But he still has his Daddy's seat on the board of Directors of the Big East Bank, which gives him a big payday every now and then. However, BankOne is opening a branch next year and BB+T is not far behind. Many are speculating that the locally owned Big East Bank's days are numbered. Although he has been considered for many prestigious jobs managing chains of bowling alleys, he has always come out second best
Marsha Marshall majors in pre med and goes on to the new Marshall med school where she earns her degree in record time. She still pines for Mike, but she has been so busy studying in school, she doesn't know what she has become. It seems her regimen included aerobic exercise and a healthy diet, and her figure caught up with her height, so she is now being whistled at and courted by out of town boys like Kenny K. State and Virgie Tech, as well as Louie Ville and others. However, since she is just starting her residency, she is only making about $20K per year and coming from the family of one of the laborers of the shut down mine, she does NOT have a seat on the board of directors of any bank. Of course, while no one knows what the future may hold for Marsha once her residency is over, but E. SPiN, the local expert, see her establishing a lucrative and famous practice. In her spare time, she has applied to moonlight at some small bowling alleys that were losing money before she turned up, got the job and turned several into profitable winners.
Mike goes on a date with Marsha and lo and behold, he sees VALUE. He proposes on the spot. Marsha, smitten that her high school dreamboat is interested, nods her head yes. Then Mike pulls out a gold tone metal and genuine .25 carat Austrian Crystal engagement ring and a prenuptial contract for Marsha to sign. Marsha flicks on her doctor's pen light and proceeds to read the prenup. Mike has had the prenup drawn up so that Marsha must perform all of the homemaking and yard tasks at the home where Mike lives with his parents. Mike does not ever have to set foot in Marsha's parents home, claiming that it is too small and tacky for the likes of him and his family. Mike gets to keep 1/2 of Marsha's income, no matter how much it is, and Mike only has to give Marsha $5000.00 of his income, saying that that is only fair, since that is the difference between their two incomes at present.
Marsha badly wants to marry a hometown boy, but not like this. She tells Mike that he has to buy her a REAL diamond ring, same .25 carat, and has to agree to spend Christmas once every 4 years with her family and then she will agree to all the rest of his terms. Mike responds "my way or the highway, girl. I'm the best thing that could ever happen to you, you should be grateful I'm even considering marrying you under ANY circumstances" . Marsha finally gets her dander up and tells Mike in no uncertain terms where to put his .25 carat Austrian crystal and sadly walks off.
Mike begins crowing loudly around town about how he has been unfairly rejected, how he took a whole day off work to go on a date with Marsha, how he took a day off work to set up a day to marry Marsha. He even claims he blew off a date he had with Louie's sister, Loua Ville, to go out with Marsha and set up the wedding date. He begins to openly state that he is going to file a breach of promise suit against her. Then Marsha pulls out the unsigned prenup. and begins showing it and a photo of the "ring" around town.....................Mike is still screaming about how horrid Marsha is because he thought that when she nodded her head, he thought that she was agreeing to marry him on his terms, regardless of the fact that she had not seen the prenup. or the ring yet...............
Now, you lawyers in the crowd, anybody wanna take this case for Mike? Didn't think so. Is there anybody in the crowd who really sympathizes with Mike?
cut to bad soap opera music..........
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